How not to get a sensible response on a mailing list/web forum

For a start, you shouldn’t be using a web forum. Are you too stupid to use email or what?

Ask yourself, does your question boil down to “pls do my job 4 me. kthxbye” (because it’s in stupid speak because it’s an obviously stupid question to be asking). If it does, don’t post it. Instead, RTFFM (where F is for Fine…. at least one of them is anyway), look at the archives. You will then find approximately eleventy-billion messages pointing you to exactly the right tool and docs to let you answer your question – easily.